If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
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