at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
