I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
