We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
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I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
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He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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