he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
