Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Randomize
