I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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