i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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