How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
