You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize