well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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