I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
