"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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