I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize