if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
