Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
