If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
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