when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize
