i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Randomize
