Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize