i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Girls should come with a carfax report
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
