girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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