hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Randomize
