I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
