1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
