people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize
