Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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