My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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