Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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