So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
third nipple confirmed
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
