high people should be assigned attendants
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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