He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
