is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
