Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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