DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
i out mim tonsoeep
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
