Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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