Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Randomize
