They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
