It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
