i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
