Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
