Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
