It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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