I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
