Having a random hookup so left but love u
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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