I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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