Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Randomize
