Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
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