That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
