Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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