Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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