What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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