One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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