I must be too annoying 4 u.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Randomize
