More tranny stories later!
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
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