69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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