shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
