I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
