Someone shit on the floor
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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