her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
No more Irish car bombs ever.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
