y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
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I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
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I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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