i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
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Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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