I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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