its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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