thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize