i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
