also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
