before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
There r osticjed everywhere
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
