if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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