ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
