why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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