my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
