Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
