I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
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