Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
wow bdsm is so cute
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