I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I want to be your penis for a week.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.