4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
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dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
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He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.