Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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