Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
