im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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